A Family Affair
by Kelly123
Summary: Casey wants no part of what Nora and George are suggesting. I mean, EWW! ONESHOT.


Okay, so this is a double first. My first dialogue-only fic (Well, _almost_ dialogue only. There is a little intro thing to get things going) and my first Life with Derek fic. I don't really watch the show, but the Casey/Derek rapport has sparked my interest, and when this little idea entered my mind I just couldn't let it go. It's really short, because once I cut the thing down to just conversation, there wasn't much left. And you will probably be confused...and for that I apologize. But anyway, I don't own the show...enjoy?!

* * *

The dead silence which followed their announcement did nothing to help break the news. 

On the contrary, it only emphasized just how badly the breaking of said news had gone.

How very, very badly it had gone.

"Casey? Derek? You...umm, you guys okay?"

"Is this _supposed_ to be funny?"

"Umm, well...no Casey. Your mother and I are actually quite serio-"

"Because I'm sorry, but it isn't. It. Isn't. Funny. At. All."

"Casey dear, please don't."

"Don't what mother? Don't fail to see the disturbing humor in this revolting little joke you and _Georgie_ here are playing? This twisted, pathetic, sadistic- STOP laughing Derek!"

"Laughing, who's laughing? I'm not laughing, I'm crying! See these tears coming out of my eyes? Tears of sadness. Definitely not tears of laughter, I assure you."

"Der-_ek_!"

"Oh come on Case, you have got to admit, this shit is pretty hilarious."

"It isn't funny."

"That's right, Dad and Nora. This isn't funny. Not one teensy-weensy, little itty bitty bit."

"Are you mocking me?"

"Derek? Mocking you? No, never..."

"George, I though we had established the fact that you _aren't funny_."

"Yeah! Casey and I don't appreciate your sense of humor Dad... and Mom."

"Derek, she isn't your mother! She is my mother! Now shut up and calm down, because I am going to need for you to get control of yourself and stand in agreement with me on this."

"Oh I agree with you, this whole thing is completely screwed up. So screwed up that you just can't help but laugh at it. Even though it's not funny. Not funny in the least."

"Well I for one certainly am glad to have both of your support on this. I'm glad that George's and my happiness means so much to our children."

"Mo_-ther_."

"No, truly. I mean here all of you life I have put the needs and wants of my daughters before my own without thinking twice about it, because that is what mothers do. But now that you are grown I thought that maybe, just maybe, for once I could put myself first and do something that would make me happy. I hoped I could expect a little more understanding from you, but obviously I was sorely mistaken."

"Casey now look, you've gone and upset your mother."

"The point therein being, _George_, that she is MY mother. So get away from her!"

"Case..."

"Derek, will you kindly tell _your_ father to stop groping _my_ mother please?"

"Listen Casey, that was entirely uncalled for. There is no reason for you to treat your mother and I this way."

"NO REASON!?"

"Yeah Casey, ease up on them. He isn't groping her... well at least not_ now_."

"DEREK!!"

"Come now Nora, you don't have to play coy with me. Knowing my dad, you're probably quite the little wildcat. Grr..."

"Der-_ek_!!"

"What, can't either of you McDonald women take a joke? Or, should I say, can't either of you Venturi women take a joke?"

"Oh shut up Derek! You, like your father, _are not funny_! Dear Lord I cannot begin to fathom the fact that we are even having this conversation! I am quite sure that what the two of you are proposing must account to some form of child abuse."

"Honey, stop being ridiculous, you and Derek aren't children anymore. You are almost twenty-five years old."

"Thank you for the update mother, but I happen to be quite current on the state of my own age, thank you. I was speaking in regards to Derek. Everyone knows that he has the maturity level of a twelve-year old boy, and such a perverted matter of this magnitude just might permanently stunt any chance of potential emotional progression. It could even spark a regression!"

"Casey, I thought you _wanted_ me to be on your side? Because you aren't going to be winning any points with me using endearing compliments like those!"

"Alright, alright, that's enough. We are all adults here-yes, even Derek- and it's time we started dealing with this as such."

"Aww, you're right Dad. How very paternal of you! Isn't he just so terrifically fatherly Casey?"

"Son..."

"What, Dad, not you too!?"

"Well I for one agree with George on the subject."

"Hrmph, BIG surprise there..."

"Young lady-"

"Don't you 'young lady' me! I'm a grown-up!"

"Oh really? Because you certainly aren't acting like it tonight!"

"Neither are you Mom!"

"And just how do you suppose that?"

"BECAUSE! Because...I say so! And you can't marry George! You just can't!"

"I'm very sorry that you feel that way Casey, because George and I love each other very much."

"But that's preposterous! What did you do, fall in love over lamb chops at the rehearsal dinner?!"

"Actually, that's totally understandable Case. The scent of dead baby sheep can be a powerful aphrodisiac."

"Oh fuck you Derek. Do you even realize that your _wife_ is about to become your _step-sister_?"

* * *

This was totally based on a true story. It was sparked by a conversation I had with a table I was waiting on maybe a month or two ago. The husband was telling his wife he wished she wouldn't wear this ring, and I said that I thought it was pretty. Well, the wife told me. "He doesn't like it because this is the ring his dad proposed to my mom with. We were step-siblings for awhile, but we were already married when our parents got together. It's a long story..."

Ahh, the things people share with their server...


End file.
